The Importance of Being Idle.

Leaving me with important old people who's doing a great favor for our family is bad enough.
But leaving me with important old people who's doing a great favor for our family in a lacey, flowery, wedding shop and expecting me to impress them while costly wedding gifts hang on the balance is another level of awkward social situation.
Don't ever do that again. Please.
I'll just offend them and accidentally tell them they're dusty or something.

I felt so goddamn weird that the sweet old lady's touch felt like a fast spreading fire maggots on my thigh.

__________________

Dinner with my sister and her boyfriend was awesome, thank God. I thought it was going to be a disaster, but he's a riot.
I hope he has a brother.



I involuntarily asked for advice about a certain dumbass boy whose irritating, intrusive presence is felt even when I'm sleeping (I think it's because I like him), and I got a lifetime sentence of fear for any future relationship.

Basically either I would end up marrying the dumbfuck, or lose his amazing friendship.
Because I don't want to get married and I can't keep him as my best friend forever since emotions would get in the way, so....


Before it became an extra emotional baggage I reminded myself how I'm still young for any of this to mean shit to me. 17 is too small of a number to hold in such heavy romance information. Hence this is all pointless and time wasting.

So I finished my fries and decided I'll have another 3 boyfriends before I start thinking about this again. With him.
If he's a keeper then he'll stay. If not, then bad luck eh.


___________________


I spent last night's short spell of insomnia wishing really hard that I won't have to go to driving class today.
This morning, without even trying, and by the simple act of oversleeping, I managed to conveniently miss it without anyone making hell about it. Talk about God's small acts of kindness.


Honestly, I'm so tired lately I'd get really lazy to do anything. I'm even too tired to make proper conversation. When I talk, people thought I was intentionally being a bitch but I'm just tired and cranky.
I'm bored too. I don't know which came first, the tiredness or the boredom.

I don't mind being lazy and I can deal with boredom. But I hate it when I'm cranky to people who don't deserve it.
Sorry?




sighs. 21st needs to come much faster than this.

"I'll be fine,

If you give me a minute,

A man's got a limit,

I can't get a life if my heart's not in it."

I'll leave when the wind blows.

We took a small trip yesterday. To see the Land of A Promised Fortune. *snorts*

On the time span of an hour and a half in the car with my two sisters, my dad didn't stop talking. From the time the sound of his seatbelt clicked until the last echo of the engine died. He's smart, that guy. Lured us with promises of wealth, then cornered us in a moving car where our only option was to jump and die.

But I have to admit, I miss it really. The whole time I've been in Egypt, my mom was the only one that regularly nags me, albeit her nagging powers were limited to phones only, and my dad only nags when mom's doesn't work so, I didn't mind it that much.

Most of the stuffs he nagged talked nagged about were reruns from last year's nagging marathon.

"You have to stand taller than others. Not in a sense with your nose stuck up in the air. You need to be better than the rest or people won't look at you. You have to be..."
His words trailed away as he waved his fist in the air quite energetically.

"Hah! Tengok! Monkey on a motorcycle! If you fall for a rubbish like that, I'll disown you."
As a guy on a motorcycle sped by, zig-zagging and doing things worthy of a daredevil.

"You're young, and you need to experience things. Stop wasting time and start using the advantages you're blessed with to live life. Do things before you're 70 with a bad arthritis. Do remarkable things."
"Like clubbing till I drop dead?"

But this year, he braved the topic of boys.
I honestly was squriming in my seat. Lucky enough, he just said, "I'm a guy and I know what a guy wants. I can't tell you what to do, but I can give you advices."

And I tell you this, I'm a great listener. I can zone out when I get too bored but still look like I'm listening very intently.

One great lesson from the trip, always bring your earphones with you.

But eh, good nag dad. :)

_____________________

Anyways, there's another thing I need to get off my chest.

While I was in the car, watching a scenery that was worthy of a postcard, you know, golden sun shining shyly from behind clouds, vast green fields and hills, children running and laughing, it hit me how all of it is still so untouched. By what? I don't know, but it looks and it feels like it's still pure.
It got to me how much I truly missed my hometown and I couldn't stop thanking God for butt kicking us here, of all places.

It pisses me off when people not from Terengganu have this sort of fixed perception of what this place is all about, of what the people are like and how they live. Like they've got it all figured out in a dot and the dot is not that interesting. We don't have 5th Avenue, or malls as grand as Pavillion, or Starbucks, or whatever, but it doesn't mean we live on trees. We have our faults but we're not barbarics.
Example,

I was buying Dunkin Donuts, and the guys asked,
"Dari mana?"
"Terengganu."
"Oh! Ye ke? Tak nampak macam Terengganu pun! Bergaya sangat."
"Lah. Kenapa? Orang terengganu pakai cawat ke apa? Pandainya abang boleh beza orang Terengganu dengan orang lain. Saya kagum bang."
("bergaya sangat"? apakah retarded mamat ni.)


And forget what I said when I said I'm a "Terengganu celup".
I'm an idiot. I'm 100% Terengganu born and raised. I may not be able to speak the loghat that well, but I'm proud to have 11 on my IC. My parents may not be from here but I am. My home is here, my friends are here, and my family is here.

Sure there's less things to do compared to a bigger city, and basically for us, we only spend the nights hanging out at some coffee shop, talking until 4 am, shisha and smoking. But I honestly can't see anything wrong with it. I thought that's the whole point of lepaking.

Don't tell me there's nothing to do here when you've never even been here before. I swear I'll castrate you. And stop asking me what is there to do here. Nak tau datang sendiri. Malas aku layan.



I should think of a clever line to conclude this rant but I'm too hungry and I want to eat nasi lemak now.


p/s: I'm sick of being treated like the last child. The perks are great, but the downside is just as awful.
You get to know your family secrets the last. babi betul.





ika.

Current mood: hungry

Listening to: The Wind Blows.