Home is when I'm alone with you.

I've had a really bad week, emotionally and physically.

Okay to be completely fair and less dramatic, I will retract that statement and replace it with this; I've had a really trying week, emotionally and physically.

My scumbag body is in this annoying state where it's not exactly full blown sick but it's not really in good shape either. It's like 'Hey you're not really that sick that you can just lie in bed all day but here's a few intermittent stomach cramps and back aches just to piss you off.'

I started to read again yesterday, trying to make myself feel better and after 60 pages into "Crime & Punishment" Raskolnikov, that high strung bastard, successfully made me feel a lot better. His madness is somehow soothing to my own mental state.

And I've been feeling a little mental because I've been trying to make sense of something that's not really meant to be thought of in the same lines as common sense; love.

The thing that's really a problem for me with love is that it requires you to be emotionally connected with another person. This is a problem because I can be a little detached sometimes.

I don't really mind being like this, because I am more.....aware, and this 'awareness' stops me from whoring myself around and latching myself onto every other guy I meet. But you know, I guess I'll work on being a little more emotionally available.


Anyway I was talking to my mom about this, and earlier today she said rather drily "Don't think about this too much. You're way to young to fall in love." And I quite agree. I'm not saying love is impossible when you're young, but when you're 21 years old, there are lot of other more important things to focus on than love.

Also, this is lame but I do believe in the whole 'fight for the one you love' thing. If you're lucky enough to genuinely feel love for another person then you should do whatever it takes to preserve it for as long as possible.


And now, here's Coldplay. Because I can imagine myself being 60 with a bad hip and still enjoying this song and that is why Coldplay kicks ass.