"La La Lie."

I miss my kuntilanak hair and looking like a mak datin.

Nowdays I just have a cendawan shaped head shadow. And on windy days, I look like a knocked up drug addict. sigh. jigga ma nigga. whatever.








I am bored and everyone is boring.






Isn't it sad how the more you know someone, the less interesting they are?

Love's not a competition but I'm winning.

Forgetting you is impossible so I won't even try. I'll just skip straight to the part where I ignore you like you're nothing more than a half dot of dirt on the vast sparkly galaxy of stars and moons.

Through the hard way, I've found out you amount to approximately;

a few unreplied messages,
a lot of useless memories,
200 or so puffs of smoke,
and a fuckload of heartache.

But know one thing, I'm so golden, I'm practically a gold nugget.

It means I'm awesome.
So it's your loss.

So yeah.



My aunty's maid cooks heaven in the form of rendang and sup tulang, but it's not less annoying when she (my aunty, not the maid) kept talking about marriage with me. I had to pretend to be more interested in a cup of tea.
I refrained from saying 'Damn woman I'm 17 and I'm too busy trying to digest to think about this bull.'

I realized I have less than 4 days to get away from responsibilities with 'I'm still 17 la doi.'

While it lasts, I'll do everything in my power to abuse that privilege.
I'm thinking...fly off to Amsterdam with my mom's credit card and smoke as much weed as I can.




The most interesting thing I did today was hugging a billboard showing McD's juicy burger at Bandaraya's LRT, to ease the burn in my stomach.
Selamat Puasa I guess.




ika.

Current mood: sleepy
Listening to: Lost Without You

The Importance of Being Idle.

Leaving me with important old people who's doing a great favor for our family is bad enough.
But leaving me with important old people who's doing a great favor for our family in a lacey, flowery, wedding shop and expecting me to impress them while costly wedding gifts hang on the balance is another level of awkward social situation.
Don't ever do that again. Please.
I'll just offend them and accidentally tell them they're dusty or something.

I felt so goddamn weird that the sweet old lady's touch felt like a fast spreading fire maggots on my thigh.

__________________

Dinner with my sister and her boyfriend was awesome, thank God. I thought it was going to be a disaster, but he's a riot.
I hope he has a brother.



I involuntarily asked for advice about a certain dumbass boy whose irritating, intrusive presence is felt even when I'm sleeping (I think it's because I like him), and I got a lifetime sentence of fear for any future relationship.

Basically either I would end up marrying the dumbfuck, or lose his amazing friendship.
Because I don't want to get married and I can't keep him as my best friend forever since emotions would get in the way, so....


Before it became an extra emotional baggage I reminded myself how I'm still young for any of this to mean shit to me. 17 is too small of a number to hold in such heavy romance information. Hence this is all pointless and time wasting.

So I finished my fries and decided I'll have another 3 boyfriends before I start thinking about this again. With him.
If he's a keeper then he'll stay. If not, then bad luck eh.


___________________


I spent last night's short spell of insomnia wishing really hard that I won't have to go to driving class today.
This morning, without even trying, and by the simple act of oversleeping, I managed to conveniently miss it without anyone making hell about it. Talk about God's small acts of kindness.


Honestly, I'm so tired lately I'd get really lazy to do anything. I'm even too tired to make proper conversation. When I talk, people thought I was intentionally being a bitch but I'm just tired and cranky.
I'm bored too. I don't know which came first, the tiredness or the boredom.

I don't mind being lazy and I can deal with boredom. But I hate it when I'm cranky to people who don't deserve it.
Sorry?




sighs. 21st needs to come much faster than this.

"I'll be fine,

If you give me a minute,

A man's got a limit,

I can't get a life if my heart's not in it."