Change is making me a cynic.

Please take no offence. I don't discriminate. I ignore/appear less than interested in everyone at one point or another. I am also fickle minded, like a pickle but with an f, which generally means I get disctracted easily by new, shiny-er things. It has nothing to do with my ego. You don't know my ego, so leave it alone. Please don't send me weird dramatic FB messages.

Last night there were fireworks over the sea and our house being the coolest house in the world, got the best view of it. It was pretty amazing, but all the while I was watching it from my balcony I couldn't help but think 'Eh too bad I can't share this with someone I care about.'

It disturbs me that I've come to a point where I would think thoughts like that and not die from brain hernia. But that's beside the point. The point is, my already thin list of friends is becoming even thinner.

No, that's not the point. The point is, things are too different now. Maybe it's progress, maybe it's how it's supposed to be, and the things before are just foolish illusions. I don't know what to think, I don't know what to hope for, I don't really want to. I don't wish for things to go back to the way it was, I just wish things would suck less.

"Here's the day you hoped would never come,

don't feed me violins just run with me

through rows of speeding cars.

The papercuts,

the cheating lovers,

the coffee's never strong enough,

I know you think it's more than just bad luck."