That's what happens when you're all alone and you're alright letting nice things go.

Just finished "Nemesis" by Philip Roth. It's not usually the kind of book I'd go for, in fact I only read this one because a good friend recommended it, but after reading it and gotten some time to digest it, I have to say it's not as...generic as I thought it'd be. It's a story about a polio outbreak in Newark and how the disease affects this one guy, Bucky, who wears thick glasses and throws javelins and works as the playground director in the summer.

There's a part that goes, kind of like this. "How can God put one person in Nazi occupied Europe with a gun in his hands and the other in the Indian Hill summer camp in front of a plate of mac and cheese? How can He put one child in polio ridden Newark and another in the sanctuary of Poconos?"

I memorized  it because I found it to be really interesting.

I need to have a good long discussion with my friend about this book.

I should start a book club.

In keeping with the glorious marathon of book reading and a session of intense brooding afterwards, I'm now reading Murakami's A Wild Sheep Chase. I also just realized I have a lot of Murakami books, which partly explains why most of the time my imagination is like it's on acid. The rest is explained by those ridiculously inappropriate yet madly hilarious cartoons they show on Cartoon Network.

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Previously I said something about how you change and things change when you go away to study for a period of time. I have to add now that one of the great things about coming back as an evolved person is you see things differently and it's like you're communicating with the past you and you're (both of you) connecting the dots and making sense of things, past and present.

You realize why your father cherishes you, the youngest of his daughters, the most. You realize your sister isn't as you've idolized all this while. You realize that the people you love the most in the world is plagued by loneliness, or fear of being alone. You realize time is nobody's friend.

I don't care if I make sense or not to others, I make sense to me and that's enough right now.
Also my head's about to explode from this.

But before that, this Sunday I'm off to Redang with my sister and her boyfriend to relax and swim and meet cool people and tan my already tanned skin and swim and swim and swim and sleep on the beach and watch the stars at night and feel small and insignificant. This package we got is cheap as fuck too. I want to travel so badly, so this is just what I needed.

I think I'll bring along my uke.

This, this is gold. The way their voices go together is killing me.