Essential yet appealed.

I have this thing where sometimes, I need to be as far away as possible from everything and everyone I know. I need to have the highest degree of anonymity. I need to be at the furthest, most remote part of the world. Where I'm just another face walking down the street. Nobody would care who the hell I am and I'm free of anyone's relations and responsibilities and then I would be able to do anything and everything I want. Some days I would seriously consider getting a taxi to the airport and buy the first flight ticket to the first place that comes to my mind. I need to cut off all ties with the people and places that reminds me of the past.


I'm not exactly sure why, but I have a theory for it. I think, when one's trust is broken, when the place where one should be able to call home is not exactly a home any more, one would want to wander the world looking for a place to call home, far away from the where one comes from.
Or it could just be because I love travelling, even more than I love bacon. 

Whatever it is, I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like running away once in a while.
I think that's one of the reason why I love Ireland's countryside so much. The sheer sense of isolation of its dirt roads and green fields and tall trees and cliff tops and crashing waves and cold wind; it's the perfect place to go to when you want to forget things.

___________________


I've been having stomach problems since 3 weeks ago. Been to the hospital 3 times now.


The doctor diagnosed me with IBS or Irritable Bowel Syndrome which is pretty bad. It's this chronic illness with no exact cure but just symptomatic treatments. Basically, precipitated by stress, my bowel would proceed to fuck itself up and becomes inflamed and sensitive and gives me a fuck load of problems. I've had abdominal pain for 2 days now and the pain is so magnificent I can't even sit up straight. It's like a boxful of kittens are licking my abdomen with their razor sharp, glass pieces tongue with vinegar saliva.

My mom said I'd inherited her weak stomach, instead of my father's stomach, which according to her can digest even rocks. So from now on, I would have to watch everything I eat and not get too stressed out. The doctor actually gave me this combined drugs of benzodiazepine and anti spasmodic. It's supposed to calm me and my stomach down from getting too stressed out.

The best part is, while at the hospital, getting my I.V drips, I got an allergic reaction to one of the drugs and the doctor just looked at me all surprised and said "This is very weird. It's very rare to develop allergy to this drug." I said, "Well doc, what can I say, I'm pretty special that way."

Sigh, you physiologically retarded puny body.