You have no idea.

The thing is, we've been away from each other for so fucking long that it started to become a normal thing to not call or to not see each other for a month or to forget birthdays or to not talk for four months. I tried as hard as I could, but it never works out the way it should. I've accepted the way that it is since I was 12, but today it's gone up another level and I'm not sure what to do anymore. 6 years ago seems easy now.

Now I'm just confused. Now it's like the only connection we have is a friggin name.

I'm starting to get the impression that maybe my whole goddamn family is too dramatic. But not the cheap family drama like the ones in TV3, more like the ones in Oprah.

You can't choose your family, yeah like you can't choose your stalker. You're just supposed to accept them or go get a lawyer. Or something like that.


SIGH SIGH. I wish I can sleep and not wake up for a long long time.
gawd.