Just the way you look tonight.

Just got back from the Christmas Orchestra.
To make it simple, it was beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes of the grand piano. And I swear everytime the conductor hit a key on the piano, my heart sang. The violinists faneffingtastic. The low lights, the seats, the cold air, the shiny reflection of the instruments, they were all perfect. The harpist was cool looking. I bet if I could play the harp too I'd look as cool. The mezzo-soprano lady was my favourite.

And I was wearing my Nicole suit dress thingy that I bought even when my mom gave me the supa dupa evil eye. It was uncomfortable around the hips (rawwrr) at first but then I started to run around the Bibliotheca with Ina. Hopscotch and racing back and forth with that kid. I'm in love with that little girl.


Sitting there in the middle of the row, watching the ladies belt out songs in a language I can't understand and the obvious concentration of the conductor even when his back is on me, I felt something. I remember feeling exactly like that when I was at the Lourve, watching the Mona Lisa. It's a mysterious wonder of some sort. I felt like I was alone in a really good way, and there was this oodles of secrets and stories and music that's waiting just for me. All I've got to do is shut out the noisy voice of conscience in my head, forget everything else and just embrace it.
The sweet, sweet thrill of recklessness combined with the silent wonder of music. Hm. No surprise I didn't feel like talking at all tonight.
When I heard Silent Night, I almost cried and I'm sure I wasn't the only one.
The closest thing we've got to magic is music, that's what I think.









See, I'm getting giddy just thinking about it now.
Ehh, I'm a sucker for these stuffs, so sue me.







:)


______________________



It's sad the way I constantly look at him. It's pathetic the way I wish he would see me the way I see him. It's frustrating when another girl laughs at his jokes. It's heartbreaking when all I could do is dream about holding his hands while listening to sappy old songs. It's tiring, biting down on my tongue keeping the truth all to myself. But most of all, it's scary to feel the way I feel about him because I keep wondering if he's even worth it.
*sighs*

I'm a dang good liar. I'm an even better liar when it comes to love. Why? Because sometimes I put too much of high expectations on love, on a guy, that I just end up flattened and dissapointed. Sometimes my heart is blinded by hormones and fairy tales that it puts him on the highest pedestal, a place he doesn't deserve.
Now don't mistaken skepticism with misandry. I'm a ciken who can't admit to anyone about my feelings for someone I like. Plus people over exaggerate. Drama comes with over exaggeration. And love drama is amazingly stupid and irritating.

But I'm not an idiot. If I know he's worth it, I won't let him go.





He could be right in front of you. He was the first one to make you smile. He was the first one to help you up when you fall down. He was the first one to say goodnight but wished you wouldn't go just yet. Sometimes the eyes doesn't see what the heart sees. You keep searching for another while he holds his heart out for you, leaving him alone and his heart dry. He won't wait forever, not even for you.
But remember to think before taking his heart and giving away yours.









Whoa. Am I emotional tonight or what eh?
Heh.

-IKA

Current mood: wish I can waltz.
Listening to: The Way You Look Tonight (My Best Friend's Wedding soundtrack)