I want to have the same last dream again.

"It's like reading a horror story. It's too unreal, too sickening. It knocked you right out of your body and now it feels like you're watching yourself staring at the screen unmovingly, wishing every word isn't true. Vomit is gurgling at the back of your throat, fighting to come out. Your sleeves are pulled up, inviting the cold to bite into your already numb hands.
None of this is happening. Can't be happening, but an awful set of imagination is playing and replaying in your head. The scene you never saw. Growing from spiteful words until a clear view of the whole disaster unfolds right in front of your eyes.
There used to be a line between you and this...this episode. The line sheltered you from it. Made it something impossible for you. Now you're trying your best to hold on to the line, refusing to let go. Refusing to believe it's starting to split.
More words are said. Say something now.
You would, if words would actually mean anything anymore. All that's left, all that's felt is the pain and the burning question. Come to think of it, you don't really want to know the answer."


Wrote all of this with a huge swollen red pinky toe. I haven't written anything for a very long time so I hope I don't dissapoint my Penguin dictionary. My fingers are frozen, my butt is sore and my dignity is bruised from limping like an idiot in front of the whole lecture hall. But all will be well again once I've slept and snuggle into sweet sweet dream land.

Random words and phrases from Sympathetic Nervous System keep popping in my head. Like "Motor to the smooth muscle of gall bladder and inhibition to sphincter of Oddi leading to retention of bile."
wtf.


hmph.

signed,
needbodyheat

Current mood: impassive.

Listening to : The Adventure.